 | | Afraid of a creature possesing something resembling on screen charisma, the humans took off at full speed |
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Yet again the internet is fuming. You can't chuck a virtual rock right now without hitting a web site full of anti Alien Vs Predator propaganda. The haters are claiming this to be a sacrilegious raping of two great sci-fi franchises (as if Alien Resurrection was a work of art, right?). But having seen it twice now, you guessed it, I'm here to play devil's advocate.
And not just for the sake of it. I really like this flick.
Being a kid of the '80s, the original movies are like the Bible to me. Aliens was my favourite by a mile, followed by Predator then the original Alien. The other three sequels I can take or leave, but that trilogy stands pretty much unparalleled in the adult science fiction genre to me. Over the years they've never aged as far as I'm concerned, and the constant re-releases, director's cuts and DVD editions of all three are further testament to that. I may get into mild spoiler territory for all seven flicks from here on out, just to warn you.
One Ugly Mother Fucker
Alien Vs Predator is very much an Alien film, rather than a Predator one. That's not to say that Predator doesn't feature heavily here, boy he does, but you certainly feel more like he's venturing into (and indeed starring in) the Alien universe, as opposed to vice versa. The world has a very cramped, dimly lit, eerie feel to it, very much reminiscent of all four Alien films, rather than the sprawling jungle and metropolises of the Predator flicks, and really it's all the more better for it. I mean as much as I still enjoy the first Predator movie from 1987, it can't even begin to touch the stylistic and indeed artistic brilliance of Ridley Scott and James Cameron's Aliens films.
 | | With all of his enemies slain, Predator went back to playing hop, skip and jump by himself |
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In fact I'm convinced that if it were not for the sheer coolness factor of Pred himself, the original Predator film would have sunk without trace, nothing more than a no brains gung ho Chuck Norris style action farce. Seeing the behind the scenes footage of the original Predator suit on the DVD extras, which looks more like something out of the Power Rangers, it's worrying how close this reality came to be. Thankfully the much enhanced Predator design was brought in at the last minute, and not only saved that flick from complete disaster, but turned it into quite the classic.
AvP seems to recognise this, similarly sprouting off bad arse Predator action on a regular basis, saving this flick from a similar fate. He truly shines in this film, is without doubt the best thing in it, and in fact it doesn't take too long before you start to care more about old mandible face than the largely irrelevant humans.
What's sweet about the Predators as characters is they aren't necessarily evil per se, they are merely upholding tradition and honour than anything else, so you can kind of get on board with 'em.
This is purely my interpretation, and I may in fact be completely wrong, but there's a great little moment where Predator seemingly spares a human's life after scanning his body and noticing he has cancer. Clearly not a worthy opponent? Just a subtle, small piece of evidence to support my theory that the guy's got a heart buried deep down underneath his 12" armour.
The only low point of the Pred himself is that he isn't played by Kevin Peter Hall from the originals, who if you didn't know, sadly died from AIDS in the early 90s. Try as they might, the suit jockys here never quite match that pure "fuck off" attitude that Kevin perfected.
Who's Laying These Eggs?
 | | Who's your money on? |
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The aliens on the other hand, are just flat out psychopathic bastards. The queen is a sight to behold, with certainly a Lord of the Rings' cave troll thing going on this time. The computer effects, rather than being a downer as in many summer blockbusters, work in the film's favour here, allowing the aliens a lot more freedom and agility than we've seen in the past. Actually the CGI is so well done that I was completely blown away to later find out that all the moving pyramid architecture in the film was indeed animated in post production.
Despite them all looking identical, there's also a rather ingenious method of making one exceptionally rock hard bastard of an alien stand out from the rest, but I won't ruin it for you here.
As for the human characters, they are neither amazing, nor bad - merely redundant. We really don't care who lives and who gets it. Much as the aliens see them, they are simply fodder for us to enjoy watching die and reproduce more aliens. There's not a single character here to match the hilarity of Hudson, the coolness of Hicks or the sheer determination of Ripley...just a random collection of names and faces that you won't remember by the time the credits roll. But then again, I can't remember any of the characters in Predator either, and you know what? It doesn't matter.
Nope, because the real stars of the show are the creatures. Seeing 'em square off against each other repeatedly not only fails to disappoint, but the outcomes often surprise too. It's pure unadulterated fanboy sci-fi wank material - but with a title such as this, what else would you expect? This film's not about deep engaging characters and an involving storyline plucked from the ages - it's about back snapping, boner bumping hardcore action.
You Always Were An Asshole, Gorman
Sure, the film's far from perfect. There are some flat out rubbish bits even, times when you'll laugh out loud at the absurdity of it all. There's a startling lack of music which is a shame too, and there are also some continuity and timeline issues for the nitpickers. But really, such negatives are in the minority if I'm perfectly honest, and I could count them all on my fingers.
Some may accuse the idea of a Predator joining forces with a human to be ill conceived, and to be fair it doesn't work 100%, but never the less I kinda dug it all same. Teaming up as a sidekick kinda suits the Pred. He's like a big murderous wookie.
This is the first decent film Paul W.S. Anderson has made without question. There are some rather interesting interviews floating about on the net in which he clearly states that much like David Fincher's Alien 3, the final cut of AvP turned out nothing like he wanted due to major studio interference. His main complaints being that half an hour of footage got cut, the majority of the gore was shown off screen, and many deaths were even removed completely (he stresses that originally, every death was seen first hand). The good news is that he plans to release a full and uncut version for the DVD further down the line.
Honestly though, the lack of gore never bothered me that much - with toned down death scenes, the shots feel a fair bit more inventive and rather stylish in fact - Ewan Bremner's distant screams, or the incredibly cool invisible spear impalement to name two examples.
Alright We Waste Him...No Offense
I think there's genuine respect and love for the source material here. That includes the comics and video games which started this whole cross over sensation as well. As a massive fan of the games, I was kinda thrilled to see stuff such as the Alien vision and the hybrid chest burster included, even if the latter sequence kinda comes off as unintentionally funny.
At the end of the day, AvP is a flick that was never gonna match the three classics of the now unified franchise. It does however, eclipse the three bastardised sequels that we all loathe, as well as show us something unique and rather brilliant that we'd yet to see too. As a child raised by those classic original flicks, it makes me giddy to see small moments like thermal Predator vision back up on the big screen, or those three ominous red dots illuminating some poor soul's forehead. Unmistakable iconic images for me. While it's hardly the best film ever made, it's bloody brilliant popcorn fun all the same.
Plus, dude, that croaking Predator noise is just the coolest thing ever isn't it?
