Along with the 2005
preview I recently posted, consider these two articles my new year's gift to you.
Speaking of which, one more title just occured to me that somehow slipped off that previous article. It's a stunning PC up and comer known as F.E.A.R. - just check out
this E3 footage on GameTrailers.com in which a scary Japanese school girl rips apart a squad of soldiers in fountains of blood for an example of why it's one to watch. It's expected June.
Before we get going with the following article I'd also like to apologise if gaming coverage has been a little on the low side the past week or two. In light of recent world events it can all feel a little poor in taste to sit here chatting about video games. If nothing else though, this'll give you something to take your mind off it all; my look back at the highs and lows of 2004 - games, movies, DVDs, you name it. Agree or disagree? Drop me a note and let me know.
Dig's Fave Game of the Year
Winner: Half-Life 2 (PC)
 | | I've not the faintest idea what the plot was about, but HL2 still rocked my world |
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Just what is it that makes HL2 one of the greatest games ever made? If I honestly knew for sure, I'd be out there making a game of my own, not sitting here talking to you people.
I can certainly throw some theories around though...for one, it's an impeccably well produced sequel. It not only takes us back to the same world we know and love from the first Half-Life, but also introduces a ton of brand new characters, weapons and concepts to then deepen that world and take it to the next level.
It all links so seamlessly to the original that they never feel out of place alongside each other, as opposed to say Doom III, which couldn't look further from the originals if it tried. HL2 retains a near identical look to the first game, while still being graphically stunning and cutting-edge, and is subsequently about as perfect a sequel as you'll ever see. That's damn hard to pull off, I tell ya.
 | | That's it my lovelies...just a few steps closer... |
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Its primary other main selling point is the physics engine. This will forever be marked as the game that introduced true real-world physics to gaming, and any FPS in the future which doesn't follow suit with its own physics system will feel horribly dated and dull in comparison.
The physics bring an added level of spontaneity to the entire game in fact; while playing it through for a second time for instance, despite the fact you'll be seeing all the same locations, talking to all the same people, and triggering all the same set pieces, it all feels fresh and original thanks to the unpredictable nature of the physics. They not only impact the combat, but also the puzzles, the environments, and the very look and feel of the world. For this reason, HL2 is the most interactive linear game of all time (oxymoron ahoy).
These two aspects stand out above all else for me, but then there's also the wonderful level design, the stunning art direction, the kick arse characters and best of all just the relentless feeling of pure unadulterated fun. Chuck all these components together and you get Half-Life 2 - the best game of 2004. You can check out my original review
here if you missed it.
Runner-Up: GTA - San Andreas (PS2)
 | | It's Boyz 'n the Hood the video game |
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While I'm most definitely a "glass half full" kinda guy when it comes to games, always able to see the bright side in all but the worst titles, the GTA games are ones I'm honestly not over the moon about. They're nice games, sure, and I enjoyed the heck out of GTA III especially, but I also think they are hugely over-rated and tend to glamorise violence a little too much at times. This wouldn't bother me in the slightest...if every 11 year old under the sun wasn't playing them.
I know this is parent's fault more than developers at the end of the day though, and from what I've played so far, San Andreas seems to be a perfected version of the GTA style so many enjoy. The ability to go from running around shooting street hookers to flying airliners over the desert in one seamless world is a pretty breathtaking accomplishment.
I'm not as anxious to hurry up and finish this one ASAP like I was with so many others last year, but I can appreciate when I'm in the minority, and San Andreas easily goes down as one of 2004's greatest achievements.
Multiplayer Shooter of the Year
Winner: Ghost Recon 2 (Xbox PS2)
Ghost Recon 2 came outta nowhere and kicked my
arse last year; I just can't express how much fun this game is to play online. Rounding up eight mates and storming a village in force for the most frantic and brutal of fire-fights is just as good as it gets in this genre.
Console-phobics can look forward to the PC version in half a year's time, but it'll be their loss in the meantime. Have fun waiting suckers!
Runner-Up: Counter-Strike - Source (PC)
There's no question that Counter-Strike's recent face-lift is a success. It not only impressed long-time players like myself, but also introduced a whole new generation to the then aging shooter too.
It's still up there as the very pinnacle of mainstream competitive gaming, sure, but it was never gonna make my #1 of the year as it's essentially still a six year old game. As good as it is, I really wanted a Counter-Strike 2 in 2004. Fingers crossed for next year?
Best RPG of the Year
Winner: Knights of the Old Republic II - Sith Lords (Xbox)
 | | So a Jedi, a Rodian and a pig guard go into a bar, right... |
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My mate Tom is the kinda guy who can sit down in front of a game and literally play it solid for days on end. He'll barely stop to blink, let alone eat, drink or piss. For example a few weeks ago, I watched him pretty much polish off the entire Half-Life 2 single player game in a day.
Me, I can't do that. I love gaming to death and mop this shit up like nothing else, but I need it in at least
mild moderation. More importantly, I need breaks. You have to really, if you want to stay sane. More than a few solid hours of Counter-Striking for instance, and I find myself cautiously checking every damn window on my street for snipers the next day. Not good.
KOTOR II
changed all that - this game turned me into Tom. I truly discovered the uber gaming geek within. The one's we all mock, and who give the internet a bad name. Those who don't bathe, shave or clothe. He who sits there covered in piss and shit and empty Doritos bags without answering the door or tugging on the blinds. For the three solid days it took me to complete KOTOR II, the real world didn't exist to me - I was a Jedi Knight who lived on the Ebon Hawk as far as I'm concerned, and that's all that mattered. In retrospect, I'd have had it no other way.
Now fully clothed, cleansed of poo and back in the real world, I doubt any game will ever have that same effect on me ever again. I'll always have KOTOR II though, and the wonderful, twisting, mesmerising journey it took me on for that weekend back in December. What a game.
Dig's Fave Platform of the Year
Winner: Xbox
 | | Woops, I seem to have posted a picture of my microwave by accident |
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Due to going from minor flop, to the incredible big black box of tricks it's now become, Microsoft deserve some major credit. They really turned things around for the Xbox this year, and all that hard work has paid off as it's no longer the lowest rung of the console food chain. In fact, going into the next generation, I think it's safe to say that many eyes are expecting Microsoft to take an early lead after all the lessons learnt here.
Heading up the list of things they absolutely nailed, is Xbox Live. For years we've enjoyed online multiplayer gaming through our PCs, but console owners haven't always been so lucky. Xbox Live changed all that. In fact, one might argue the inclusion of buddy lists, voice mails, in-game comms as standard, and the incredible competitions, events and stat tracking on offer have led to Xbox Live almost overtaking the PC in some ways. Now that the bar has been set, we can expect similar features from fellow systems in the future I'm sure.
Along with its increased sales, high profile releases and some of the amazing technological advances found in many of its 2004 titles, I'm naming the Xbox system of the year. It's come a long way baby, and I'll be first in line for an Xbox 2 if it does indeed show up in 2005 as rumoured.
Under-Rated Game of the Year
Winner: Fable (Xbox)
 | | Fable even beat GTA to the punch with the whole character customisation stuff |
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To me, Fable was the textbook case of hype ruining a game. It was lobbied around by the developers as the deepest, most epic of RPGs, with a wealth of freedom and choices to rival real life. We were even promised trees that grew in real-time as you got older throughout the game.
A lot of this stuff didn't make it in in the end, and ultimately Fable ended up more like a simple little adventure game with some minor RPG elements thrown in. Reviews were good, realising that empty promises aren't important, only the final product is, but punters disagreed. There's been a huge outcry over Fable as a result, and to me it's a shame, 'cos without all that hype this would be hailed as the new Zelda, and a wonderful RPG in its own right.
Looking back at all the crazy adventures and wonderful places I went to in video game land over the past twelve months, Albion stands out as one of the most
memorable.
Runner-Up: Doom III (PC)
Another example of eager developers promising the world that many felt wasn't met, and actually a tricky game to talk about in retrospect. At the time of release I absolutely
worshipped Doom III, but since completing it I'd be lying if I said I'd returned to it once. In HL2's wake it feels even more limited and lacking in depth.
I still firmly believe the opening hour to be one of the most finely concocted and atmospheric of any game ever created though, and even as a one-off experience, Doom III is definitely worth your time and money. I eagerly await seeing how the wondrous tech is used in future projects such as a certain Raven-helmed ID franchise.
Stealth Game of the Year
Winner: The Chronicles of Riddick - Escape From Butcher Bay (PC Xbox)
 | | These cutting-edge normal mapping techniques and real-time shadows are positively ideal for a stealth title |
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I pretty much detest the concept of stealth games, I find them slow-paced and dull for the most part. It takes an interesting and original spin on the idea to really impress me, and Riddick does exactly that. The movie was about as fun as getting anally raped, but as a game it shines. The reason I think it works so well is that it never really feels like an all-out stealth game - it's more like a living, breathing universe, and the sneaking around is only a small piece of the pie.
There's moments of conversing, fist-fights, machine gun battles, and even mech-based vehicle segments, all wonderfully varied in their own right, yet primarily it remains a stealth game in-between all that stuff. You subsequently find these slower paced segments provide a welcome change of pace between the more high-octane portions. They aren't so much slow, lumbering dull parts like in so many stealth games, simply natural, organic parts of the gameplay experience.
 | | If all else fails, resort to fisticuffs |
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Riddick may be one hard arse fucking tough bastard, but that heavily armoured machine gun-wielding guard over there is still gonna mow you down if you get seen, so you find yourself tiptoeing through the shadows almost subconsciously, not because the genre is forcing you into it. That to me, is stunning game design.
At the same time you don't feel as helpless as you do in other stealth games either, because you know that if all else fails and you get spotted, you're gonna be able to pounce on that sucker and smack seven shades of shit from his arse. This is the mistake so many stealth games make...they don't give you that last-ditch choice for all-out violence, as you're so often hideously under-balanced.
All in all, as both a stealth game and an action game Riddick nails it completely. There's no boredom, just deeply atmospheric tension spruced up with ultra vicious action. Definitely one for people who perhaps felt let down by Doom III and want something a little more interactive and interesting, yet equally as beautiful in the looks department.
Runner-Up: Splinter Cell - Pandora Tomorrow (PC Xbox GameCube PS2)
 | | Mercs are forced into first person view for online games |
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As another instance of stealth games with a playable and original spin on the rather dull concept, Pandora Tomorrow had some equally wonderful moments. Thief III would have taken this spot if it weren't for Splinter Cell's awesome train level in fact, which alone puts this one right up there for me, and is a genuine classic gaming sequence that would never have worked in a more action orientated genre.
Just imagine the alternative; charging from carriage to carriage with a gatling cannon, mowing down bad guys by the dozen? Not interested. But tiptoeing along the roof, shuffling your way along the outside windows, and pulling yourself down the under-carriage at immense speeds...wow, that's how you do a stealth level.
If that wasn't enough, Pandora also introduced the first true example of a multiplayer stealth game. By pitting one team of action focused gun-wielding mercs against the stealthy and weapon-less spies, it creates an incredibly deep and original team game unlike any other. The spies have to stick to the shadows, using their agility and cunning to remain invisible, while the mercs get to charge around guns blazing shooting the shit out of them.
It's all wonderful fun, regardless of platform, and I can't wait to start stealthing it up with a mate in co-op when the upcoming Chaos Theory hits shelves this march.
MMORPG of the Year
Winner: Jump to Lightspeed (PC)
 | | Flying space ships is one thing, but to get up and walk around on them too? Wow |
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Note I don't mention Star Wars Galaxies as the MMORPG of the year, I merely refer to its expansion pack. As an MMORPG, Galaxies itself has pretty much remained constant for me; fantastically atmospheric fun, but bugged and flawed at the same time.
Jump to Lightspeed on the other hand is a thing of near perfect beauty, and pretty much an entirely separate game. As a long-time fan of the old X-Wing and TIE Fighter games, this is like a brand new addition to the series, but one which switches from epic single player missions to massive online multiplayer action at the drop of a hat. Subsequently, it pretty much stands alone in the space simulation genre.
So many gamers have yearned for so long for a sequel to X-Wing, and not only do we have a worthy follow-up here, but it adds so much to the formula too. The ability to mod your ship for instance, adding and tweaking its parts and look with every piece of loot you find, results in your vehicle becoming almost an extension of your character in fact - something you're forever working on and upgrading, like that dodgy old car in your dad's garage.
Regardless of whether or not you're a Star Wars Galaxies hater or not, Jump to Lightspeed is a wonderfully captivating online space sim, and one worth subscribing to the main game for just to access. I can't
talk about this game enough, it flat out rocks. Catch me on Eclipse under the name of Dig-Ler if you fancy hooking up for some major TIE ownage.
Runner-Up: World of Warcraft (PC)
Although released state-side, I can't really rate Warcraft yet as it's not out here until February, and importing it as I usually would apparently locks you into playing on US servers.
Still, I
beta tested this bad boy briefly and could see greatness in it immediately. Expect some major coverage over the following year, as well as a possible game of 2005 award.
Superhero Game of the Year
Winner: Spider-Man 2 (Xbox GameCube PS2)
Spider-Man 2 impressed me hugely for two reasons. First off is its stunningly open ended game world, one that recreates a real life city better than any before it. More impressively though, it's also just a damn good movie tie-in - how often do we see that?
Spidey really nails that open ended GTA-feel of being able to go anywhere and do anything. So often in fact, I couldn't care less about saving Mary Jane and wrestling with Doc Ock's giant testicles, and was much more content to merely fly around New York city by myself and enjoy the amazing views on offer.
Climbing to the absolute tip of the Empire State building, jumping all the way down to within mere inches of the ground, then squirting that precious web-jizz and flinging myself back up into the sky was an absolute highlight of the year for me.
Why oh why this got remade into a ridiculously different (and heavily watered-down) game on the PC is a complete mystery, but whatever dodgy backroom dealings led to that travesty of a decision, we'll always have the incredible console versions. Further proof that those who deal solely in PC gaming are merely cutting off their nose to spite their face, and missing out on yet another of the year's stand-out classics.
Spider-Man 2 truly lets you be the hero who saves the day like no other game has ever offered, and was right up there as a game of the year contender for me.
Runner-Up: X-Men Legends (Xbox GameCube PS2)
 | | Legends nails that comic book vibe with its gorgeous cell-shaded characters |
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While Spidey kinda surprised me with its brilliance, I went into X-Men Legends expecting good things from the get-go. Sure enough, I got them.
In Legends, Raven crafted a wonderful throw back to the scrolling beat 'em up genre of yester-decade, while respectfully tailoring the experience wonderfully to the world and characters of the X-Men series.
Whether you wanna slice and dice as Wolverine, or fire lasers from your eyes with Cyclops, there's a character for everyone here, and the addition of minor RPG elements also allows you to customise each of them to your liking too.
Best of all though, it's also a wondrous multiplayer experience, especially when you get four players tearing up bad guys at once. All in all, an amazing party game.
Best Graphics of the Year
Tie: Doom III & Half-Life 2 (PC)
 | | "Don't fire until you can see the whites of their eyes" "What if their eyes are red, sir?" |
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I really can't pick these two apart. Half-Life 2 does a more admirable job of creating a photorealistic world, one that's good enough to pass for any number of real-life European cities. If you squint in places, it even looks genuinely real. The textures are extraordinarily detailed, the characters look and sound wonderful, and best of all it handles wide-open spaces particularly well.
Doom on the other hand lacks that ultra realism, not to mention the ability to display miles of terrain like HL2, but I do think on an artistic level, Doom III offers a rawer display of pure beauty and talent. Levels are designed and lit like the most deranged of horror films, and often appear truly stunning, as opposed to merely realistic.
I could happily frame either game to put on my wall though, and with both these engines finally released, it'll be interesting to see other developers tweak and mod them for exciting new projects in the future.
Runner-Up: Chronicles of Riddick - Escape From Butcher Bay (PC Xbox)
 | | Characters look so good that I feel as if Vin Diesel literally acted in this game. For better or worse... |
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Even though the animation isn't quite so hot, Riddick's a game that does realistic human's wonderfully well too, and the depth and believability of the gameworld is also stunning. There's CGI-quality environments, both large and small, gorgeous shadow work, and even the occasional cinematic switch to third person view here and there which works rather nicely.
One less talked about aspect which I truly adore though, is the fact Riddick's entire body has been modelled, even in first person. Just look down to the ground for instance, and you'll see your feet. This makes sneaking around in the shadows much more realistic.
It's not
quite as balls-out gorgeous as HL2 or as stylistically mind-blowing as Doom III, but the mere fact developers Starbreeze got the thing running so smoothly on the Xbox deserves some kind of medal alone, and honestly changed my opinion on whether PCs are really as overly powerful compared to consoles as we're led to believe. An amazing technological accomplishment.
Best Game Soundtrack of the Year
Winner: EverQuest II (PC)
What's that? San Andreas didn't make the number one spot? Bare in mind for all their awesome soundtracks, the GTA games are all based off licensed tracks which require absolutely no effort at all on the part of the developers. EQII on the other hand, has a fully composed musical score which actually yields artistic merit.
This soundtrack rivals any modern day film in fact, one that captivates and transports on a whole other level, and is perhaps the primary reason I stuck with the game for the small time I did.
Edgiest Game of the Year
Winner: Vampire - The Masquerade: Bloodlines (PC)
 | | As PC Gamer recently put it, Bloodlines is the world's first "slut 'em up" |
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There's nowhere else to really put this bad boy, but it deserves a spot in any sane end of year line-up. Bloodlines fills the niche of first person shooter/RPGs which Deus Ex started, but which never really took off since. Although bugged to hell, it's as good a game as any last year.
More importantly, it's also the most edgy and adult-orientated game I've ever played, encompassing dark, sexy, funny, twisted moments together beautifully. Go hang out in the local strip bars and nudey booths of Hollywood for a prime example, or try hacking the local porn shops computer system and read the kind of deranged bestiality titles they have on order.
So many times I was quite literally taken back by what I saw and heard in this game, often muttering to myself, "I can't believe they just did that". At the same time these elements don't feel glamorised and "cool" like in say San Andreas - here you feel pity for the crack whores and disgust for the pimps, and that's an important difference.
 | | Go on admit it, you picked option #2 didn't you? |
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Its FPS elements aren't as strong as anything else mentioned on this list, but its on the RPG side of things that Bloodlines shines. The character interactions are what made it such a joy to me, with the sheer choice and freedom in how you deal with people utterly bewildering in its possibilities.
You can play as a violent Brujah for instance, threatening and pummelling your way through the game. Alternatively you could play as a suave Toreador, seducing your way through.
There's four other clans to pick from, and each one provides a unique and different spin on your experience. Just showing Bloodlines to my mate the other day, I opted for a Malkavian character for the first time - crazy mentalists who speak gibberish and can see into the future - and immediately it was like playing a different game entirely.
Dodgy "Warrens" segment aside, I was well and truly
impressed by this one from beginning to end and can't recommend it enough. Just mind your step and watch out for them bugs, they're squishy.
The Game Dig Missed Out On
Winner: Metroid Prime 2 - Echoes (GameCube)
I only snagged a GameCube recently, and thus haven't got hold of this bad boy yet. In a year as good as 2004, the mere fact Metroid Prime 2 had been constantly hailed as the game of the year for so many people made me realise that perhaps I'd been missing out on something extraordinary here though. Expect a full review as soon as I finally get this sucker in my hands.
The Review Dig Regrets Posting
Winner: EverQuest II - Initial Impressions (PC)
EverQuest II is the kinda thing that's great to play over at your mates house for an hour or two, but not something you should buy. Wondering around the stunning cities and lush countrysides of Antonica for the first time is a beautiful, mesmerising experience, one that'll live with me forever. The problem is a week later you find yourself so completely and utterly bored stiff as it slips into MMORPG mediocrity.
All in all major proof that games need thorough long-term testing before Dig should get
reviewing 'em.
The Game Dig Fucking Hates
Winner: Men of Valor (PC Xbox)
 | | How can HL 2 play so smoothly, while this ugly POS runs at 10 frames per second? |
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You may remember I had an early
look at this old slag of a game many months back, but despite mixed feelings, had reasonably high hopes it'd end up being a lot more impressive on release...that was, until I played it. I couldn't even psyche myself up to review it for you guys it was ultimately so weak. Ever despised a game so much you can't even talk about it?
Men of Valor really has nothing going for it at all. It's as bog-standard an FPS as you can get; the jungle environments are tiny and limiting, the frame-rate is atrocious, and it just ain't any fun to play whatsoever.
All in all, it's just a horrible, horrible game, and if that's not enough, the Xbox split screen mode has arguably the worst graphics you'll ever see in this day and age. That this came from Medal of Honor developers 2015 makes me cry.
Runner-Up: Prince of Persia - Warrior Within (PC Xbox GameCube PS2)
 | | Aaaarrrrrrgggghhhh!!! Please let it all be a bad dream |
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This is the kind of blatant raping of a franchise that we'd expect from EA, not our beloved Ubisoft. Warrior Within's disgraceful re-imagining of the Prince of Persia series also
broke my heart, but it'll avoid being labelled the #1 shit stain of the year because there's ever so brief but never the less strong glimpses of its prequel's magic peppered throughout.
You'll wade through endless hordes of appallingly realised bad guys (and girls) that slowly hack away at your very soul with their lameness, but then you'll be rewarded by that trademark Prince of Persia gravity-defying wall-hopping brilliance that almost makes it worthwhile.
If you mute the sound and squint your eyes you can almost imagine you're playing Sands of Time in places. But why not just switch off Warrior Within and actually play that instead? Thus leaving this disgraceful and disappointingly cack sequel to gather the dust it so richly deserves.
The Amount of Weight Dig Put On in 2004
Way too much
Video Gaming Hero of the Year
Winner: Dog
 | | Is there any cooler sound than that "boom-ba-boom" running noise he makes? |
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There can only be one true gaming hero of 2004, the robotic canine sidekick to Half-Life 2's Gordon Freeman.
The first time I saw Dog in the game, I kinda shat my pants - "how the fuck am I gonna take this guy down?", I sweated. Once it became clear he was on my side though, I breathed a welcome sigh of relief however, and the subsequent chase sequence became more about admiring his pure and utter bad arse abilities than worrying about evil Combine forces on our tail.
Dog doesn't feature in the game as much as we'd all hope, but every one of his extended cameo moments are pure golden gaming goodness. Playing "catch" near the start of the game was great fun, but then watching him take down an entire squad of Combine soldiers, a tank and a gunship all in the space of 30 seconds was a fucking riot.
Video Gaming Villain of the Year
Winner: Me
Well not exactly me, rather the evil, sadistic bastard of a character I became in Fable.
Whether it be my early teenage years of gently punting chickens over cliffs and beating up the local kids, to the time I married three separate women in one day like some kind of misogynistic medieval man-slut, I pretty much fucked
everyone over at some point in this game.
How about that day I murdered my best friend in cold blood for money? Or that night I came home and poured endless amounts of beer down my wife's neck until she
finally put out, then casually killed her the next day for being so shit in the sack.
When I eventually got around to facing the uber-evil end of game boss in Fable, he actually seemed like a wee bit of a pussy in comparison...
Fucking Tools of the Year
Winner: EA
 | | Anyone else sick of seeing this in front of every damn game they play? |
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For continuing to monopolise the gaming industry bit by bit, EA are without doubt the utter cunts of 2004. What pisses me off about EA is the pure and utter blatantness with which they place profits over everything else. They swallow up smaller companies on a daily basis, buying out anything they deem as competition, and yet with every hard working coder and artist they consume, all that talent bizarrely evaporates over night.
Take the Medal of Honor series for instance; the mere fact we've gone from previous game of the year material like Allied Assault, so the likes of Rising Sun speaks volumes. Ubisoft are looking to be the latest victims of EAism, and I wouldn't be surprised if they were bought out completely by next Christmas.
The fact they swallow up more and more of the industry each year wouldn't bother me so much if the titles they pumped out were of decent quality, but come on...GoldenEye: Rogue Agent?
LOTR: The Third Age? Even Pacific Assault, a game EA ploughed so much time and effort into, turned out somewhat limp and
disappointing.
And if you're still to read the now infamous
EA Spouse Blog, check it out for the down and dirty truth on this cancer of the gaming industry.
The Game We All Forgot About
Winner: Far Cry (PC)
 | | Far Cry was the very first of the many next-gen FPS classics |
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Ubisoft's landmark first person shooter was truly massive back at the start of the year. While we all eagerly awaited the many upcoming first person shooters like Half-Life 2 and Halo 2, Far Cry came out of nowhere and provided all we needed to tide us over.
The levels were enormous, open-ended, and gorgeous, you could snipe dudes from miles off, you could drive vehicles, and it even darkened up and mutated into a twisted sci-fi freak show in the latter half with more than enough scares to soil the hardest of underpants.
With that in mind in fact, I think Doom III would have been met with a lot more love from the masses if we hadn't already played through Far Cry. The sad truth is that Far Cry really beat it to the punch in many ways though, which it really deserves further credit for.
Never the less, it's kinda been buried in light of more recent, high profile releases. As a result, it's a shame that in the history of gaming we'll all remember this year for Half-Life 2, when Far Cry actually pulled off something just as magical and astonishing many months before it.
A great accomplishment for newcomers CryTek...who incidentally have also since been eaten up by EA.
Hardest Game of the Year
Winner: Ninja Gaiden (Xbox)
When it comes to making a game tough, it's easy for a developer to take the easy route and simply chuck in hundreds of unbeatable enemies which the player has no hope of beating. Ninja Gaiden doesn't do that. It's hard, sure,
really fucking hard in fact, but it's also fair. It gives you a chance...that one tiny opening. Make use of it, and you'll reap rewards greater than you could ever imagine.
Fail though, and my god it's painful. This game will punish you like no other game ever has, grabbing you by the scrote and slamming your dick in the dirt until your future children are murdered in a spunk covered bloody mess. Gaiden is a game that truly separates light hearted gamers from the genuine pros of this world. It's oh so fucking tough, but it's
oh so fucking
good too.
Many just can't hack it, and who could blame them? But for those of us who have what it takes, Gaiden is 2004's ultimate challenge. And if that wasn't enough, free Xbox Live expansions have since made it even
harder. Gulp.
Runner-Up: Prince of Persia - Warrior Within (PC Xbox GameCube PS2)
While Ninja Gaiden provides a challenging, immaculately designed gaming experience, Warrior Within tries to emulate it and kinda fails. On "Easy", it plays like any other title, but switch it up a notch or two and you'll experience gaming hell.
All stylistic problems I have with the game aside, this is just one stupidly frustrating old bastard of a game, and unlike Gaiden, I'm convinced it's physically impossible to complete on "Hard". Prove me wrong people?
Dig's Fave Driving Game (aka the Hypocrite of the Year Award)
Winner: Burnout 3 - Takedown
 | | The only game in existence that Dig gets better at the more he drinks |
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Just to prove I can give credit where credit's due, I'll praise EA's Burnout 3 as the best of 2004's driving titles. It's a fantastic rollercoaster of a game, one that provides sheer unbridled g-force speeds unlike any I've ever played.
Although hardly a serious title by any stretch of the imagination, and one who's crash mode certainly has some questionable ethics as well, it's the kinda thing that's wonderful to whack on with some mates over for a bout of winner stays on.
The thing I like the most about it though is that you're never really punished for hitting the sides or crashing your car - the game knows that high speeds are what it's all about, and lets you concentrate on zooming off into the distance, rather than the immaculate handling of tight bends. That makes it the most accessible and enjoyable driving game of recent memory.
Mind you, loud-mouth American DJs who don't know when to shut up aside, EA's actual contributions to this game are questionable at best.
Runner-Up: Outrun 2
Outrun 2 is a different beast entirely to Burnout. While that focuses on super fast cutting edge racing thrills and massive multi-million dollar crashes, Outrun 2 is more about pure and simple retro time attacks.
At first it feels a bit lame and dated, but once you master the fine art of corner grinding, the whole thing suddenly clicks. From then on, you just try and tear yourself away. Outrun 2 unquestionably does one of the best jobs yet of fooling you into believing you have an arcade cabinet rigged up to your TV screen.
Gadget of the Year
Winner: iPod 4G
 | | Despite new rivals like the iRiver, the iPod is still one sexy old bitch and a half |
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2004 marked the fourth incarnation of Apple's much-hailed iPod MP3 player. With both 20gig and 40gig capacity models, either one will hold more tunes on it than you'll ever possibly need, and with the additional upgrades now found in this new 2004 model, the best just got even better.
Carrying 2000 songs on you at any one time is a little bewildering to an iPod newcomer like myself. The more I tinkered and probed with the spunk-coloured toy, the more I fell in love with it though. After organising my thousands of tracks individually by genre, and compiling numerous playlists for each and every occasion, my iPod became indispensable in fact - now I can never leave home without it.
Having your entire music library available at the click of a button lets you fine-tune your listening to whatever place and mood you happen to find yourself in throughout your day. As a result, the iPod provides the soundtrack to your life; cheesy pop hits to see you through a laborious day at work, up-tempo drum 'n' bass keeping you company on the train to your mates, chilled-out ambient tunes on the ride home from the pub - whatever you need, iPod's there for you 24/7.
In actual fact, the ability to have any track you could possibly want all but a few clicks away at any time kind of spoils you in a way. Tracks you might not be so keen on immediately get deleted. Buying albums becomes less about the hour long musical journey that the artist envisioned, and more about which few tunes are worthy enough for iPod ripping and which are to be binned.
For this new version of the iPod, Apple's added a new "click wheel". This does away with standard button pushing, and gives you a mini turntable for accessing tracks and menus, making the scanning of huge lists an absolute breeze. As a bonus, it's also dropped in price. In fact, if you order from the US, you'll save a further ?100 or so thanks to the gobsmackingly awesome exchange rate right now. America's crumbling economy is our gain.
Crap-Tastic Album of the Year
Winner: Always Outnumbered Never Outgunned - The Prodigy
 | | What can you say, eh? An ugly cover for an ugly album |
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Music in general is something I've barely said two words about since the site started up. Part of that is down to the fact that music is very much a personal thing, where what one person listens to is often the exact opposite to what his neighbour digs, thus rendering much of what I'd have to say irrelevant.
The other reason however, is that 2004 was just one shit old year for tunes, and heading up the list of reasons why, is this abomination by The Prodigy.
Anyone who used to follow my old music site Bassquake knows that The Prodge are a band I grew up listening to since way back when. As a hardcore act they busted out many a cheesy rave classic, Charly and Out of Space to name but two. For a lot of people my age, their chart success was a doorway into the underground rave scene of the early '90s, one that I fell in love with for many years afterwards.
As they got older and matured, so did their albums, namely the exceptional Music For the Jilted Generation. Even the more mainstream and less dancey Fat of the Land blew me away, thanks to smart old tunes like Smack My Bitch Up and Climbatize.
Always Outnumbered on the other hand, doesn't impress at all - it's just flat out bad music. The vibe and the hooks of the old tunes are long gone, replaced by droning dark side nonsense that bores as much as it bleeds ears. The only tune that stands out for me is Girls, which goes straight back to the old Prodigy sound of 1994, and is a solid breakbeat stormer.
Grab that on iTunes for $0.99 though and ditch the rest. Experimentation is one thing, but poor results are another. This is utter wank on a CD, and perfect beer coaster material.
Cinema Release of the Year
Winner: Napoleon Dynamite
 | | Vote For Pedro |
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In a pretty weak year for movie releases, Napoleon Dynamite stands out as a golden highlight. It's a love it or hate it kinda thing however, and not exactly for everyone.
For one thing, there's little plot - this is really more of an exaggerated fly on the wall look at a tiny American town deep in the "red states". Primarily it focuses on young teenager Napoleon, played by actor Jon Heder in about as memorable a performance as you'll see this year.
Heder does something nigh-on impossible in fact; he creates a character completely and utterly devoid of any discernible traits whatsoever. He's like a vacuum - there's just absolutely nothing there. He doesn't even have a voice, just monosyllabic grunts that form words.
While Napoleon lacks any form of charisma, spends all his time drawing fantasy characters and yearns to learn "nunchuka skills", I'll be damned if there isn't something hilariously touching about him and the weird and wonderful outcasts around him. Seeing him grow, make friends and ultimately become (relatively) normal was a wonderful yet bizarre journey that I'll continue to take many more times in the future.
All in all it's a funny and original look at middle America, and shit, it's worth seeing for that final dance sequence alone.
Runner-Up: Team America
In a year where elections polarised all of America like nothing else, Team America refused to take sides. No sir, this foul mouthed satirical look at American foreign policy pretty much lampoons every single person under the planet.
The US military? Check. Terrorists? Check. Hollywood liberals? Check. World leaders? Check. The fact the whole thing is then acted out via Thunderbirds-style marionettes makes it even funnier though, and I defy anyone to find me a flick that contains as many flat out fucking laugh-out-loud one-liners as this does. And let's not forget that hardcore puppet sex scene.
Best New TV Show
Winner: Lost
 | | Okay, so this shot's actually from a 2005 episode. Sorry |
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I
loved the pilot back in September, and 12 episodes on I love the show even more. The gripping story of 50-odd plane crash survivors stranded on a mysterious deserted island continues to suck me in with every hour that passes.
On the one hand, we've learned very little about the island itself in those 12 episodes, such as just what that big bad monster roaming the forest is exactly. On the other hand, and perhaps much more wisely, we know a heck of a lot more about the survivors themselves though. It's Lost's underlying premise of using the big old clich? disaster plot as little more than a backdrop to what really matters; interesting, well realised characters we care about.
It's not high art, and it pales in comparison to the kind of stuff HBO put out, but in that cheesy, edge of the seat adrenaline rushing mainstream kinda way, Lost is right up there with 24.
Best Cartoon Series
Winner: South Park
 | | They took muh jerrrrb! |
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Not only do few cartoons last nine years, but even fewer still remain funny that entire time. Unlike most though, despite losing its epic audience in favour of the smaller cult following it now has, South Park has undoubtedly gotten better and better every year since launch.
It started out as merely a walking comic strip about eight year olds saying rude words, but over time it's mutated into a wonderfully topical, hilariously biting satire.
In these most fucked-up times of terrorist attacks, wars, disasters, disease, racism and everything else that makes being a human so depressing, South Park is the place you can go to laugh at it all. By pointing out the absurdity of life as seen through the innocent eyes of children, it kind of puts everything into perspective.
This year we saw Bush and Kerry get exposed for what they truly are, Paris Hilton get inserted into a man's anus, the redneck population of South Park turn gay in order to kill humankind, and Kyle also died of AIDS. Good times.
Runner-Up: Clone Wars
 | | Who's the better actor; Hayden Christensen or cartoon Anakin? |
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You might have missed this one, but you can catch it
online via the official Star Wars web site. It's basically 20 three minute long episodes showcasing the various battles, twists and turns of the Clone Wars, set between Episodes II and III. Among them you'll see Clone Troopers versus droids on Muunilist, Obi-Wan facing down bad arse bounty hunter Durge, and Anakin's kick arse battle with an evil new Sith apprentice wielding twin lightsabers.
Season two kicked off last year, yet being a Star Wars geek it sadly wasn't as cool as I'd hoped. I only mention it for the final two episodes in fact, which were so gobsmackingly awesome, they kinda shamed the recent prequel movies in comparison. The last one in particular is definitely worth seeking out, particularly if you want a sneak-peak at Episode III's new villain General Grievous in Jedi-killing action.
Season three will kick off in a few months and lead directly into the opening crawl of Revenge of the Sith.
Best Movie Released On DVD
Tie: Return of the King (Extended Edition), Star Wars Trilogy & Clerks (10th Anniversary Edition)
 | | For budget reasons, Clerks was filmed black and white...or "through a milk bottle" |
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While the cinema releases were a little lacking, 2004 saw some incredible DVD sets up for release, and to be honest I can't pick between the three of these. I've talked enough about
Lord of the Rings and
Star Wars though, so let's focus on the Clerks anniversary pack.
Clerks is a black and white indie flick that came out back in 1994, and was the debut release for writer/director/actor Kevin Smith. For those living underneath that rock next to that ant who haven't seen it, it tells the tale of convenient store clerk Dante, and the bizarre situations he finds himself caught up in over the course of one day on the job. Joining him is best bud Randal, clerk to the adjoining video store, and a major fucking low-life with a penchant for abusing customers and watching hermaphroditic porn.
Again, this one never concentrates on plot, it's primarily about the hilarious dialogue. The two engage in endless banter about everything under the sun throughout their day at work, from which is the better Star Wars movie, to having sex with dead people, and by the end you'll be soaked in urine. This new anniversary set is particularly good though as it includes a much needed remastered version of the flick, and a bumper pack of new special features to boot.
 | | Clerks was Jay & Silent Bob's debut, who went on to star in four more flicks |
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Sadly, the majority of these special features aren't as good as you'd expect; the Q&A is a little awkward and forced, and the audio commentary is too subdued compared to Smith's many other classic commentaries.
What saves it however, and boosts this set into the realms of "must have" status is the Snowball Effect documentary. This extended feature chronicles how the film was made, beginning back when Smith was writing and acting in school plays, then charting his progress to film school, dropping out, and financing the flick independently via selling his comic book collection.
It's an epic, touching and above all, kinda inspiring tale about how a regular Joe became a Hollywood player, and in fact I'd buy the set solely for that, never mind the modern day classic of a film itself.
Best TV Series Released On DVD
Winner: Dinner For Five
 | | Jon's had numerous roles in the likes of Friends, Daredevil and many more |
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Chances are you've never heard of this, but Dinner For Five is basically just a chat show done right. Whereas most wreak of fake, uninteresting PR bullshit, such as those hosted by David Letterman and Jay Leno, Dinner For Five gives us the pure uncensored truth.
It all centres around presenter and movie maker Jon Favreau, who rose to fame after writing and starring in bachelor classic Swingers. Rather than merely interview guests though like his peers would, Jon literally takes them out for a meal.
As food is eaten and booze is downed, stories are told and secrets are revealed. As a result we get to see and hear the stars like we never have before. Not only is it damn interesting to hear the nitty gritty straight from the horses mouths, but it's also absolutely hysterical.
 | | Big Pussy off The Sopranos talks about his troubled past growing up |
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As the title hints, most episodes include not one but four guests. These range from close buddies and co-workers of Jon such as Vince Vaughn and Ron Livingston (who's Band of Brothers anecdotes provide interesting viewing), to more high profile celebs such as Marilyn Manson and Puff Daddy. Just wait until you hear Manson talk about the "home movie" he made. Favreau is a great host throughout all 10 episodes, and does an amazing job of being the ring leader and interviewer, while never being obvious about it.
Season One is currently only available via import, but hopefully we'll see it released over here along with following seasons soon, because later episodes are particularly brilliant. As luck would have it, you can download the hilarious episode with Ben Affleck and the Daredevil cast for free over at
JenGarnerNet. Once you've seen that, trot over to
Amazon and grab the DVD from America - any fan of movies and TV will definitely not regret it.
Babe of the Year
Winner: Kristen Bell
 | | 24 year olds playing high schoolers? You've gotta love TV |
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Kristen Bell stars as the titular character in Veronica Mars, one of the year's most entertaining new TV shows. Although you probably haven't seen her before unless you like to glue yourself to The Shield and Deadwood, you'll certainly be hearing more from her over the next few years.
In fact you might remember me
talking the show up a fair bit back when it started out. While I dug the early eps, it's never quite lived up to its initial promise - what keeps me coming back is Kristen herself though. Without her, Veronica Mars just wouldn't exist.
Sexy on the outside and insanely do-able, she's also a stunner of an actress to boot too. Kristen's the kind of actor who always knows exactly how to nail a scene or sell a line perfectly. There are few in Hollywood who are as watchable or as likable as her.
Some of the rather immature plots strands stopped VM becoming a show of the year for me, but the exceptionally well written dialogue and seeing Kristen do her stuff still make it more than worthy of an hour of my week. If you like your teen angst with a bit of a dark, adult twist, check out Veronica Mars and more importantly, Kristen Bell. She's the next Sarah Michelle Gellar...minus the anorexia.
Dude of the Year
Winner: Jon Stewart
 | | There's a reason millions tune in to The Daily show every night |
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For those not in the know, Jon's the presenter of The Daily Show, a mock news channel broadcast on Comedy Central. What's so awesome about Jon Stewart is that he's not only oxygen-exhaustingly hilarious, as he mocks and laughs at the world of news and politics through his phoney news bulletins, but that there's always an underlining truth to the gags at the same time.
Whether it be the launch of an online deer hunting web site, or George Bush's latest political blunder, Jon and his crew of hard hitting reporters are always there to get the scoop and rip some piss out of the days events. For that reason not only is The Daily Show a damn funny TV show, but it's also the most reliable and entertaining source of world news.
Jon also stepped out from behind his desk this year and took it to the "real" news channels like CNN, confronting them on live TV with accusations of failing in their jobs as genuine, reliable news stations. That, accompanied by his riot of a new book titled, surely enough, America - The Book, make Jon Stewart my dude of the year.
Stop by the official
Comedy Central web site for hours of quality footage and interviews.
Runner-Up: Kevin Smith
Seeing previously mentioned film-maker Kevin Smith do a live Q&A in 2004 was one of my best nights of the year. Although that took place a fair while before the site came online, thus escaping a big old write-up, expect a proper review of his next visit when he pops back this March.
In fact Kevin will be filming that next Q&A for inclusion on his second Evening With Kevin Smith DVD, and if you saw the first one you'll know what a blast those are. Anyone in and around London should definitely make the effort to get tickets to this thing as it'll be one of the funniest nights of your life.
Line of the Year
Winner: Donald Rumsfeld Speaking to US Troops
Secretary of Defense and uber cocktard Donald Rumsfeld, speaking face to face with US troops complaining about the lack of armour on their vehicles in Iraq;
"If you think about it, you can have all the armour in the world on a tank and a tank can [still] be blown up".
It's called tact, mate.
Documentary of the Year
Winner: Fahrenheit 9/11
 | | Best moment; army recruiters exposed as preying on unemployed minorities |
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Putting aside political persuasion for one moment, as well as your opinion of both George Bush and Michael Moore, Fahrenheit 9/11 is ultimately just an incredibly entertaining movie.
Whether it's pure documentary, fiction, or a murky mixture of both is all open to debate, and one I really don't fancy getting into, but even if you don't take what's on screen as gospel fact, and more like fictional characters in a movie, it's still a damn entertaining flick in its own right.
And if you don't feel for poor Lila Lipscomb crying on the doorsteps of the Whitehouse at the end then your heart must indeed be made of ice.
Runner-Up: Outfoxed - Rupert Murdoch's War On Journalism
You can accuse me of being an uber-liberal left-wing hippy douche all you want, but the bottom line is both this and the previous flick were the most entertaining documentaries I saw last year. This one I find more credible and solid than Michael Moore's however.
It sets out to expose Fox owner Rupert Murdoch's news channel as pushing an ultra-far right conservative viewpoint that's both extremely biased and worryingly brain-washing. With the huge viewership Fox News enjoys, and the fact that Bush has since been re-elected since Outfoxed was originally released speaks volumes about these findings.
The highlight of the documentary would be resident Fox News psychopath Bill O'Reilly ripping into a 9/11 victim's son live on-air for speaking negatively about George Bush. Sad, powerful yet blackly hilarious stuff.
Dig's Most Embarrassing Moment of the Year
Winner: Buying the He-Man movie on DVD
Sorry world...it seemed so cool back when I was six.
Before I sign off I want to thank all the readers for stopping by over the past four months. It's still early days around here, but the rate at which traffic and visits have increased has kinda blown me away, and I'm very grateful for that.
In 2005 expect to see some more reviewers come on board, more gaming systems covered, some more interactive elements, and possibly even the odd multimedia special feature. If you want to get involved, they'll be some info up soon on how.
Catch you guys on the various forums in the meantime! Thus ends the longest article ever written.
(Pictures courtesy of
LucasArts,
The Chronicles of Riddick,
Xbox,
Rockstar Games,
Splinter Cell,
X-Men Legends,
Men of Valor,
Prince of Persia,
Fable,
Far Cry,
EA Games &
UPN)
